Archive for the Med School Category

Last night was the 107th annual Carver College of Medicine Aesculapian Frolics. The competition brought an even higher level of quality than previous years, and the Class of 2010 winning streak was ended, much to our chagrin, but to the delight of all other classes. The Class of 2010 (joined by a PA2) did manage to bring home the awards of “Best Band”(3rd year running) and “2nd Place Overall” There was an amazing amount of talent showcased on the Englert stage.

It was difficult this year to work around the schedules of our classmates, many of whom were on away rotations outside of Iowa City. But our show came together, due to the hard work of so many people, and the audience was treated to corny jokes, bright costumes, men in leotards, and even a few tears.

Here’s a QuickTime video of our 36 minute show, for your viewing pleasure. It’s a pretty large streaming download (111 MB), so it may take a little time before you can see the whole thing. If you think you may want to watch the video more than once, please consider using the link below and downloading it, rather than re-downloading it and viewing it in this web page each time.

To download this video for your computer or iPod/iPhone, right click this download link and choose “Save target as…” or “Download linked file…”.

Lyrics

New World
A new dawn brings this ward to motion
A new sun starts to light the sky
My secret’s concealed in my white coat
I can fly, I can fly

It’s this one morning
The morning before it all becomes clear
And on this one morning
We’re soon to receive the page of the year.
Just a split-second
And just when it’s time for me to impress
The end is in range
And my tal-ent will show

And Oh- another life’s in danger
Below- disease’s evil hand
And We didn’t know
That the M-threes would have so
‘Many lectures to attend
But we will defend
It’s our new world

I met a patient with chills
Slept three hours at most
You choose a calling you’re sure to achieve in
You think you’re on the right track
You reach the start of your life
You have the future in hand

But then a mistake hits
And the truth closes in
Then you realize you didn’t know anything
Nobody told you the best place to hide
When the day starts to blow

And oh- another life’s in danger.
All of a sudden
And things aren’t going as you planned
And you’ll have to stay ‘til your patient feels okay
‘Til you’re sure of what will be
Then you’re fine’ly free

A new dad watches on with wonder
A babe’s cry pierces through the air
A new world just around the corner
We prepare, in our lair

A he-ro- can’t escape the sirens
Ev’ry he-ro, hears your secret plea
M-4 year closer every moment
Wait and see, wait and see!

Oops, I did it again!
I think I did it again.
I broke sterile field.
I cut the wrong end.
Oh baby, I feel like I’m all thumbs.
With so little sleep, I’m delirious.
And to pass out while scrubbed in
That is just so classic M3.
Oh, baby; baby.

Oops!
… I did it again.
I cut it too long,
Zoned out in the case.
Oh, baby; baby.
Doctors think I am dumb,
But I’ll never give up.
I’m not incompetent.

You see my problem is this:
I feel like a waste;
Wishing that I had a purpose and fit.
I cry standing all day
To hold back the pannus
Or support a leg.
And to stutter while rounding
That is just so classic M3.
Baby, oh.

Oops!
… I did it again.
I cut it too long,
Zoned out in the case.
Oh, baby; baby.
Doctors think I am dumb,
But I’ll never give up.
I’m not incompetent.

Teach me or leave me
Every single day, I show up early. Round on patients still sleeping, so sweet. Ever since beginning, I report perfectly. Labs, Is, Os, and vitals, la-dy.
So be kind and enrich my mind. Please remember, I’m just an M3.

Take me for what I am, who I am meant to be.
And if you give a damn, teach me, lady, or leave me.

Teach me lady, or leave me. A resident at work, can rarely see the sun. I don’t mean to be a jerk, ladies. It’s not fun! I’ve got so much to do. Soon you’ll all be in my shoes. Then you’ll see that I’m not cruel, young ladies. Use this time to study and unwind, ‘cause as an intern your candle will burn at both ends, ladies.

Take me for what I am, who I am meant to be.
And if you give a damn, take me ladies, or leave me.

No way can I learn if not taught.
And, hey, don’t you want us to rock!
Don’t whine. Don’t get upset. Would you rather be on call or in bed? Call? Or home in bed? Calm down ladies.

I want work. I never ever weep. Study daily with discipline. I make rounds without sleep. Lady, what’s my sin? Never quit, I follow through. I take notes ‘cause I love to. What to do if I am confused, lady?
I’m a prize – I work hard and I’m wise, but I need a guide, I’ll stay by your side, to learn what you’ll teach me.

Take me for what I am, who I am meant to be.
And if you give a damn, teach me, lady, or leave me.

That’s it.
The straw that breaks my back.
I quit!
But then you’ll never pass.
Clerkships! What is it about them? Can’t learn with them or without them.

Take me for what I am.
Who I am meant to be.
(Who I am meant to be.) And if you give a damn
(and if you give a damn then, lady).
Teach me lady. Teach me or l-l-l-leave me.
Take me lady, or leave me.
I’m not leaving.
Come on!

Put a Nuva-Ring in it
All the single ladies.
All the single ladies. (All the single ladies.)
All the single ladies. (All the single ladies.)
All the single ladies. (All the single ladies.)
All the single ladies. (All the single ladies.)

You’re growin’ up, actin’ tough, ready for the birds and the bees.
Some take the pill, take it willy-nill. They could care less what I think
The Nuva Ring stays in three weeks, don’t pay it any attention.
It’s safe, and it works, prevents unwanted births. Use a condom to prevent STDs.

If you like him, you should put a Nuva-Ring in it.
If you like him, you should put a Nuva-Ring in it.
Be prepared, so you don’t have a kid from it.
If you like him, you should put a Nuva-Ring in it.

O-o-oh. O-o-oh. O-o-oh, wo-o-oh.
O-o-oh. O-o-oh. O-o-oh, wo-o-oh.

If you like him, you should put a Nuva-Ring in it.
If you like him, you should put a Nuva-Ring in it.
Be prepared, so you don’t have a kid from it.
If you like him, you should put a Nuva-Ring in it

Kung Fu Fighting/Future Finding
Oh-o-o-oooooh
Oh-o-o-oooooh
Oh-o-o-oooooh
Oh-o-o-oooooh

Everybody was future finding.
Fighting disease and dying.
At the time it was a little bit fright’ning.
But the faculty kept us trying.

We were confused what to do and confused what to be
Confidence was building up. And skills developing.
In the allopathic arts, everybody learned their part.
Orthopedics to OB, medicine to surgery.

Everybody was future finding.
Fighting disease and dying.
At the time it was a little bit fright’ning.
But the faculty kept us trying.

I’ve got superhuman strength – retract for days on end
I can cut through the big stuff. Let’s get it on!
No faster scalpels in the land, than my flying metal hands.
A bleeding patient’s on the list? Get hemostasis from wrists!

Everybody was future finding.
Fighting disease and dying.
At the time it was a little bit fright’ning.
But the faculty kept us trying.
Oh yeah.

Oh-o-o-oooooh. Peds!
Oh-o-o-oooooh. Cards!
Oh-o-o-oooooh. Surg!
Oh-o-o-oooooh. Gyn!
(Keep on, keep on, keep on, keep on.)

Everybody was future finding.
Fighting disease and dying.
At the time it was a little bit fright’ning.
Make sure that you keep on trying.

Future finding. Fighting disease and dying.

Bui Doi
This poor young boy
Now ends his strife
We bid farewell
And mourne his life
He’s the misgiving reminder
Of all the good we failed to do
We can’t forget
Must not forget
That they are all
Our patients too

Like all physicians, I once thought
When they’re gone I won’t shed a tear
But now I know I’m wrong
I’m so naïve of my fear

Life isn’t over when it ends
The faces never leave your mind
They are the mem’ries of the patients
Whose lives we intertwined

This poor young boy
Now ends his strife
We bid farewell
And mourne his life
He’s the misgiving reminder
Of all the good we failed to do
That’s why we learn
Study our arts
‘Cause they are all
Our patients too

I must not let them see me cry
To let the tears flow down my face
Emotions trapped inside
They’ll never be re-placed

I never dreamed I’d see such need
And futures looking so forlorn
But then I saw a ward of patients
Who made me feel reborn

This poor young boy
Now ends his strife
We bid farewell
And mourne his life
We search for meaning, trust in science –
We’re learning things we never knew
Because we know
Deep in our hearts
That they are all
Our patients too

These are souls in need
We have much to give
Mark our words today
Just one chance to live
Help me try

This poor young boy
Now ends his strife
It’s not farewell
He changed our lives
He’s the unliving reminder
Of all the good we want to do
That’s why we know (That’s why we know)
Deep in our hearts (Deep in our hearts)
That’s why we know
That they are all
Our patients too

It’s that time of year again… Nope, I’m not talking about the time of year when you break out the long-underwear so vital organs don’t freeze and fall off in the short walk between your car and a building. Today was the Mr. Iowa Medicine Pageant, in the MERF atrium. Devin Smith, last year’s Mr. Iowa Medicine (MIM) 2007, was kind enough to invite me to join him in my role as MIM 2006. for a little performance to close the show. As luck would have it, Jeff Beck, MIM 2005, was actually in town, so he brought his voice and stage presence/energy into the mix, and special guest Jen Lowry, an M3 friend of mine lent her sweet violin skills to our group!

Also, congratulations to my brother, Neil, who competed in this year’s pageant, and he definitely showed the Carroll spirit with his DDR-playing Wookie talent!

iPhone Video Link

Last night was amazing! All four classes brought high quality entertainment to the stage, but the M2 Class of 2010 (joined by two PA1s) managed to bring home the awards of “Best Band” and “Best Show Overall” again, for the second year in a row! It was so fun to share our talents and passion for the arts!

We spent about 2-3 weeks in the writing stage, and only had 2 full weeks of rehearsals, so I am really happy with our final product!

Here’s a video of our 30 minute show, for your viewing pleasure. It’s a pretty large streaming download (84 MB), so it may take a little time before you can see the whole thing.

"/video/Frolics08web.mp4"

 

To download this video for your computer or iPod/iPhone, right click this download link and choose “Save target as…” or “Download linked file…”.

Lyrics

Large in Real LifeYou know we’re in-side
We don’t do it for fame, alright
While you are learning now
Homo-sta-sis our game, alright
We can’t but re-sent, your quest to save li-ee-ii-ee-ife

[CHORUS]
Come on student can’t you see, can’t you see
How med school’s affecting our vitality
Immune system’s down
(I )Need some sleep tonight
And that makes us large in real life

Have you thought about
Ex-er-cis-ing to-day?, c’mon
May-be eat some fruit, you gotta what what you weigh, c’mon
If you keep us con-tent, we’ll stay ali-ee-ii-ee-ive

[CHORUS]
Come on student can’t you see, can’t you see
How med school’s affecting our vitality
Immune system’s down
(I )Need some sleep tonight
And that makes us large in real life

Yeah, every time we’re down
Yeah, you can make it right
Yeah, and that’s what makes us large in real life

[CHORUS]
Come on student can’t you see, can’t you see
How med school’s affecting our vitality
Immune system’s down
(I )Need some sleep tonight
And that makes us large in-
That makes us large in-
That makes us large in real life

—————————
What is this Feeling

BRAIN:
Dearest darlingest Organs and Tissues:

LIVER:
My dear comrades:

BOTH:
There’s been some division
Over who our leader is:

LIVER:
It’s time, for us to party:

BRAIN:
There’s a test, and it’s___ on Monday:

BOTH:
I knew that’s what you’d probably conclude
Yes
There’s been some division
For you see, that organ is:

BRAIN:
Unusually and exceedingly peculiar
And altogether very eager to imbibe:

LIVER:
Prude.

BRAIN:
What is this feeling,
So sudden and new?

LIVER:
I felt the moment
We became M2s;

BRAIN:
My blood is rushing;

LIVER:
My bile’s rising;

BRAIN:
This pressure’s crushing;

BOTH:
That’s not surprising-
Every week’s the same,
This is getting lame.
Yes! Loathing
Unadulterated loathing

BRAIN:
For the tests;

LIVER:
The labs;

BRAIN:
Your gloating!

BOTH:
Let’s just say – I loathe it all
Ev’ry little task, however small
Makes my very tissues start to crawl
With simple utter loathing
Can’t you realize my frustration?
There’s no time for relaxation
We can’t get a-long!
Though I think our diff’ren’ces are vast
Unless we can put it in the past
Or I will be loathing
Loathing you
My whole life long!

ORGANS:
Oh tyrant brain, what’s with all this strife?
Why not just give in and enjoy our life?
This is terror! You’re a martyr!
We don’t mean to show a bias,
We’re not getting any smarter!

BRAIN:
Well; these times are meant to try us!

ORGANS:
So the organs, forced to divide
Sudden change like Jekyll and Hyde
It’s-just get-ting ugly:
There’s a war inside!
We share your;

BOTH:
What is this feeling
So sudden and new?
I felt the moment we became M2s
My blood is rushing
My pulse is rising
Oh, what is this feeling?
Won’t you take the blame?
Yes
Ahhh

ORGANS (BACKGROUND):
Loathing
Unadultereated loathing
For the tests, the labs, your gloating!
let’s just say – we loathe it all
ev’ry little task however small
makes our very tissues start to crawl
AHHH!

ALL:
Loathing!

ORGANS:
loathing

BOTH:
Can’t you realize my frustration?

ORGANS:
loathing

BOTH:
There’s no time for relaxation

ORGANS:
loathing

BOTH:
We can’t get a-long!

ORGANS:
A-long!

BOTH:
Though I think our diff’ren’ces are vast
Unless we can put it in the past
Or I will be…

ORGANS (BACKGROUND):
loathing…

BOTH:
loathing
For forever…

ORGANS (BACKGROUND):
loathing…

BOTH:
loathing,
Truly deeply loathing you

BOTH:
loathing you
My whole Life long!

ORGANS:
Loathing
Unadulterated loathing

LIVER:
Boo!

BRAIN:
AH!

——————————
All for Love

Intestine: I’m alive inside
Heart: (What pickup line will it take?)
Intestine: She could be my bride.
Heart: (To send away this heartache.)
Both: I’ll be the or-gan she counts on,
And as we grow old,
Our lives will unfold.

Intestine: Some folks say, I smell
Heart: (How can I break down her guard?)
That’s a myth I’d dispell.
Heart: (She makes my arteries hard.)
To feel the grasp of her fim-bria
And I can’t explain,
It makes me in-sane.

(Heart crazily yells “Yeah!” and Intestine looks disproving, while Heart is simultaneously embarrassed.)

Let’s solve this once for all, who wins her love.
Let your best fea-tures be the ones you flaunt,
Loser concedes,
‘Cause I won’t be out-done, I’m stand-ing tall.
When I serve the final blow
U-ter-rus will sure-ly know
Let’s solve this once for all, who wins her love.

Intestine:You’ve got muscle strength
Heart: (I get the girls with my might.)
Intestine: I’ve got mu-cho length.
Heart: (You’ve got the moves, to delight.)
We com-pare rath-er close-ly.
As-sleep or a-wake,
My soul she does quake:

Let’s solve this once for all, who wins her love.
Let your best fea-tures be the ones you flaunt,
Loser concedes,
Intestine: Oh crap! I’m feel-ing strange, not well at all.
Intestine: I can feel the bloody flow
Intestine: Clear the way, watch out be-low (he collapses)
Heart: Though it’s Uterus I want,
Heart: I didn’t want to see you bleed.
Both: Let’s solve this once,
Heart: once for all,
Both: and all for love.

——————————-
What Could It Be? (La Vie Boheme)

What could it Be?
What could it Be?
What could it Be?

BRAIN
We’re checking respiration
Pulse and B-P, got a
Fever, can’t be nothing
We move to the Chest-
Tachycardic rate,

INTESTINES
Just help me ‘cause I’m in pain,
Need more than brain, (it’s) getting bad

PITUITARY
I’m sensing tension, ascension
A rising hypotension,

KIDNEYS
We’re starting salt retention,
follow convention, it’s good prevention

PANCREAS
Not to mention of course,
Get to the health we Had
Get ready to strike,
Im-mune cells al-read-y en-route

HEART
Blood shoots – immune cell recruits-
But it’s acute – the noise-
This bug can destroy-
I’m losing face like mad

ALL
To figure this out for once …di-ag-nose and treat!

ALL
What could it Be?, What could it Be?

BRAIN
Ahhemm

SHIGELLA
Hey Fella – I’m shi-gel-la!

LIVER
So you invade the poop, and make it pallid
Fecal oral transmit, toxin makes it splatter
And you’re living inside cell walls

GALLBLADDER
Eww

SHIGELLA
That’s not my game

INTESTINE
Oh great, and she lies

LIVER
With small innoculum size
Is that it here?

ALL
Out the rear!

LIVER AND BRAIN
And so it appears
We’re infected with disease
With treatment, and fluids, we might achieve reprise
On one hand, it could be, Shi-gel-la in the poo

SHIGELLA1
No way guys, it can’t be, it must be stomach flu

STOMACH AND INTESTINE
The motion, the ocean, it’s nausea promotion
Hydration, sedation

INTESTINE
Give me constipation

GALLBLADDER AND HEART
Assessment, get consent, we resent runny poo

GALLBLADDER
It’s my bag

SHIGELLA
It’s my time

BRAIN
For all systems teview

ALL
Heart, Brain, Liver- all organs engage,

SHIGELLA
It’s abuse

LIVER
I need booze

PANCREAS
We’re on stage

ORGANS
This feud-ah. It’s crude-ah. We think you’re screw-edah, boo!

HEART & BRAIN
We scared off the main foe, the diag-nosis we know
I’m sure we all agree

ALL
What could it Be?

We’ll make- Shigella- FLEE!

———————————
Celebration (Medication)

ORGANS:
We were cured on time, come on
(Let’s medicate)
Now we’re feeling fine, it’s on
(Let’s medicate)

INTESTINE:
Had a problem coming from the rear
Not constipation, a problem more severe

STOMACH, THYROID:
Our health had declined
Like the stomach flu
Then we medicated and started anew

ORGANS:
Come on now
(Medication)

KIDNEY1:
Back in ‘twenty-eight, Doctor Fleming changed time

ORGANS:
(Medication)

KIDNEY2:
We can celebrate, medicine in it’s prime!

BRAIN, LIVER
If we, just work together
We can achieve
(More) than you can measure

LIVER (AND ORGANS):
Don’t forget to have some fun
Come on

ORGANS:
(Yahoo) Thanks to medication
(Yahoo)
ORGANS:
We were cured on time, come on
Thanks to medication
Now we’re feeling fine, it’s on!
Let’s celebrate

GALLBLADDER:
We’re gonna stick together, that’s right
Let’s celebrate, it’s all right

SHIGELLA1:
Immune system will put up a fight!
Let’s celebrate, it’s our plight!

Baby

ORGANS:
We were cured on time, come on
Now we’re feeling fine, it’s on
Now we’re feeling fine, come on!

Today at lunch, in the MERF atrium, they held the Mr. Iowa Medicine 2007 pageant, and as Mr. Iowa Medicine 2006, I was invited back to “hand down the crown” with a special performance at the end. I thought it only appropriate that I ask Jeff Beck, MIM 2005, to join me for a little duet, singing “R. Kelly Ignition Remix”… remixed with our own lyrics.

Unfortunately I didn’t get my guitar or mouth close enough to the mic, so it’s a good thing that Jeff sang and enunciated loudly!!

 

iPhone Video Link

Here is the history-making 1st place band and overall Frolics show from 2007, the first time M1s have won in about 20 years! Co-directed by Nate Carroll, Sam Danielson, Mendy McFarland. Music Direction by Eric Kaiser. (This 94MB download may take a while before it show up.)

iPhone link (To download this video for your iPod/iPhone or computer, right click the link and choose “Save target as…” or “Download linked file…”)

Lyrics

The Heat is On in Saigon – Miss Saigon
CHORUS
On a crusade to get Made
We heard it’s harder ‘n’ hell
We’ll be in school for most of a decade
It took a year to apply, but we did very wellOn a crusade to get Made
Tuition already paid
We’re gonna have to excel

SENSITIVE
Is anyone else afraid?

CANONIER
I have no doubts I’ll be made
Discover a new cascade
help the college get paid

GOLD-DIGGER
I think I’m pretty hot stuff
so buy me a beer

SENSITIVE
On a crusade to get made
Don’t wanna fall and get played
You think she’d really like me?

GOLD-DIGGER
if you had a career

(white coat ceremony?)
—–

CANONIER
All of my life, I’ve been really smart

ENTHUSIASTIC
(Is) it almost time, to study the heart?
I think it might be the best body part!

GIRL MADE COACH
I’ll show you: how to build patient rapport

ENTHUSIASTIC
I just can’t wait to explore!

CHORUS
Some people think we’re hardcore

On a crusade to get Made
don’t let me fall way behind, the thought of catching up sucks
I gotta strengthen my mind, take a break at Starbucks

QUESTIONABLE
I’m not really sure why, I’m part of this class
look at my grades, are you sure I can pass
I wanna get through, even if I am last
I’ll show you, I’m gonna get my degree

GOLD-DIGGER
Who cares about your M.D.
what’s more important than me?

ACADEMIC
On a crusade to get Made
people think I’m so lame, but there’s not much I don’t know
I got a brain full of facts, I wanna put on a show

—–

ENTHUSIASTIC
I’m twenty-two, and I’m new here today
the town that I come from seems so far away
I know that my story sounds oh so cliche
and although
I newly injured my knee
a million dreams are in me

MALE MADE COACH
For spring break we should go ski!

CHORUS
Let’s learn to catch drug abuse!
it’s not a week or a day or an hour we got
to really get to the plot- got to make no excuse

CHORUS
this year I bet that you and I will get along
rack up some debt, find out admissions can’t be wrong

CHORUS
I will!, We will!, we’re gonna get Made!
at the end of this all, we will throw a parade

QUESTIONABLE
My name is Melissa Practice, and I want to be made.

ENTHUSIASTIC
My name is Sarah Tonin, and I want to be made.

SENSITIVE
I’m Ryan O’Plasty, and I want to be made.

ACADEMIC
And my name is Stuart Pendisdourk III and I want to be made into a Doctor!

CHORUS
On a crusade to get made
and things had better start well
but in a week’s time, we get out the blade
better adjust to the smell

I Will Survive

QUESTIONABLE
Right now I am afraid
I am petrified
Keep thinking I will never live
without my M2 guide
Will I spend so many nights
wond’ring if I do belong
If I’m wrong
but I worked so hard for so long
pick up the slack!
and solve that case
my practice patient was sincere
when she called me a waste of space
I go to bed at three o’clock
I eat whenever lunch is free
I spend my every waking second
learning like a busy bee

GIRL MADE COACH
But then, although- I must implore
you don’t give up now
it all comes to the final score
speak up and listen, look your patient in the eye
don’t ever grumble
and try not to be so shy

QUESTIONABLE
Oh I’ll comply
I will survive
Oh as long as I can stay above
I’ll pass, I’ve got the drive
Devoting all my life to give
It’s the life I want to live
and I’ll survive
I will survive

Hey Hey

(violin interlude)

GIRL MADE COACH
If you want to pass that test
get an early start.
If you work hard you’ll learn
the secrets of this noble art
and don’t stay in on weekend nights
just feeling sorry for yourself
Go meet a guy
Or find some cute new clothes to buy

QUESTIONABLE
with all points key
for test review
I’ll do my best when symptoms worsen
from your point of view
Just give me a case of Marfan’s
with a dissection type “B”
and I’ll form the differential
before you can count to three

GIRL MADE COACH
But then, although- I must implore
you don’t give up now
it all comes to the final score
speak up and listen, look your patient in the eye
don’t ever grumble
and try not to be so shy

QUESTIONABLE
Oh I’ll comply
I will survive
Oh as long as I can stay above
I’ll pass, I’ve got the drive
Devoting all my life to give
It’s the life I want to live
and I’ll survive
I will survive

Everybody (Backstreet’s Back) – Backstreet Boys

GIRL MADE COACH
Everybody
Check your body.
Everybody, check your body right.

CHORUS
P. E. skills, alright!

Ohmigod we’re back again
Learning how to check the skin.
M4s are here to show us how.
If you’ve gotta question better ask it now.

Is this draping wrong?
Yeah.
Do I take too long?
Yeah.
Must I touch those bumps?
Yeah.
We will never pass this class unless we check the body right.

Everybody
Yeah?
Check your body.
Yeah.
Everybody, check your body right.
P. E. skills, alright!
Alright!

Now raise your arms up in the air.
behind your head like you just don’t care.
Now on your feet to check the spine.
See if your vertebrae align.

Is this draping wrong?
Yeah.
Do I take too long?
Yeah.
Must I touch those bumps?
Yeah.
We will never pass this class unless we check the body right.

Everybody
Yeah?
Check your body.
Yeah.
Everybody, check your body right.
P. E. skills, alright!

I Wish I Could Go Back To College – Avenue Q
ENTHUSIASTIC:
I wish I could go back to college.
School was so easy back then.

SENSITIVE:
What are the odds – I’ll pray to the Gods but still totally fail biochem?
(ACADEMIC: “Pretty high…”)

ACADEMIC:
I wish I could go back to college.
In college I could make the grade.

SENSITIVE:
I love all my peers, but break into tears!
Cause I know that I’ll never get made!”

ALL:
How do I go back to college?
I don’t know who I am anymore!

ACADEMIC:
I wanna show off to my class and give a lecture to all about the APGAR score!
Ohhh…
I wish I could just ace a test…

SENSITIVE:
Make a bowl out of clay…

ENTHUSIASTIC:
Sleep until noon…

ACADEMIC:
Get to the last day.

ALL:
We need to survive because of all the tuition we pay!
So now we’re…
Sitting in the computer lab,
4 A.M. before our learning issues are due,
Cursing the world ’cause we didn’t start sooner,
And seeing the rest of the class there, too!

ACADEMIC:
I wish I could go back to college!

ALL:
How do I go back to college?!
AHHHH…

SENSITIVE:
I wish I had taken more prereqs.

ACADEMIC:
But if I can just learn all this knowledge,
Think what a doctor I’d be-
Giving smiles and fives,
I’d save patient’s lives…”

ALL:
“Because I’m gonna be an M.D.”

September – Earth Wind and Fire

QUESTIONABLE
Do you remember before the first week of september?
We were feeling like we were pretenders
But now we are he-ere to stay

CHORUS
This school is swinging
No matter what we’ll be clinging.
Everything is alright- Remember
how our future lit bright today

Ba de ya – say do you remember?
Ba de ya – our egos were so tender
Ba de ya – our new future starts today!

Pla-tys-ma (11x)

MONA
Just as the sky’s blue
We will learn all our neuro from Jean Jew

GIRL MADE COACH
Wear a rubber glove, Remember
Remember Standard Precautions, M’kay!

GOLD-DIGGER AND SENSITIVE
Now december brought the finals we feared in september.
Now it’s too late for us to surrender
‘cause we’re getting married in May.

Ba de ya – say do you remember?
Ba de ya – our egos were so tender
Ba de ya – our new future starts today!

(And we say) Ba de ya – say do you remember
Ba de ya – our egos were so tender
Ba de ya – our new future starts today

GUNNER
I’ve got the good gene
I can keep my caffeine
This IV keeps me- going throughout the day!

CHORUS
(And we say) Ba de ya – say do you remember?
Ba de ya – our egos were so tender
Ba de ya – our new future starts today!

(And we say) Ba de ya – say do you remember?
Ba de ya – our egos were so tender
Ba de ya – our new future starts today!

Ba de ya de ya de yo
On to M2 year we go
We hope that you enjoyed the show… today!
(2x fade out)

Cookie Monster!
I never saw it coming, but I managed to win the Mr. Iowa Medicine Pageant! My reign will last until fall 2007, when I get to hand down the crown and teach the secret handshake to a new Mr. Iowa Medicine 😉

I dressed up as Cookie Monster (Thanks Mom, for your awesome sewing skills!) for the introduction/question portion, and then sang this song about the trials and tribulations of medical school, as seen by my inexperienced eyes.



iPhone Video Link

Lyrics Sing-A-Long

This is a song

For the fun-lovers,

But gunners… listen closely

You don’t always have to study hard,

In FCP the Force is with you…

Anatomy put on a rubber glove…….

And Pizimenti’s shirt is blue……………

What’s that behind your knees?

Popliteal fossa please….

At the risk of sounding cliché…

I wanna save lives…drink coffee

When can I afford my Bently?

Genetics seats are comfy, they make me sleepy

And then there’s Ruby he stumps me completely….

So now I sit in class with Doctor Snyder.

“Quality control endoplasmic reticulum”

“Quality control – Endoplasmic reticulum, need I say it again?”

“Why don’t you star that!?”

What’s your patient’s wish?

That’s cool with me, can I ask if you’re satisfied in bed?

Find a comfy posish?

Because I’m afraid I’m diagnosing you with MARFAN’S…

Dr. Sheffield are you familiar with the Torah?

I bet Xeroxing 20s was a borah!

But sometimes you gotta say hey!

What’s with all these triangles? Seriously?

To get a different shape I would haggle.

I was up all night for.. my learning issue.

So Ruby I could really use a bagel.

So now my normal life is fleeting.

My day consists of study sleep and eating

Why won’t they just hand me my M.D.?

I don’t…wanna fluuuuunk out… med school’s…hard……hard…